4 Tips To Master The Art Of Conversation

We’ve all seen them – the lucky people who seem to have mastered the art of conversation. The focal points of any party or event. People who not only have the ability to speak to anyone about anything, but also come across as sparkly, charming and interesting – people that everyone seems to gravitate towards at a party, a conference or even at work.

So is this ability to have great conversations and hold everyone’s interest something that you are born with? Or is it something that you can learn too?

I firmly believe that like most things, the art of conversation is also something you can master with mindful practice.

Here are some useful pointers.

Load up on the stories

Everytime I’m stepping out to meet someone or to an event, I quickly think back to everything that has happened in my life that could be an interesting story relevant to the person or to the occasion. Did I discover a new book, did I visit a new place, have I just come back from travelling, was there an interesting incident that happened at work/home.

Each story should tick one (or more) of these boxes

• It should be entertaining
• It should provide useful information
• It should be motivating/inspiring

Over the years this has become an automatic practice. Now I always have a bank of stories that are new, plucked out from my recent past and of interest to the people I will be meeting.

This keeps me interesting and ensures that I have new content that people would like to listen to.

Do remember that it is not just the stories, a great conversationalist also knows how to tell those stories. Will do another post on that soon.

 Give full attention

Everyone likes people who pay attention to them. And it is only fair that a good conversation should be two way without any participant trying to hog all the limelight.

Here’s what you should do:

Keep what you have to say interesting and to the point.

• When the other is speaking, give full attention and really listen to what they are saying instead of focusing on what you are going to say next.
• Make it very clear that you are listening by not just responding well but also through an engaged body language.

The absolutely worst thing you can do is to respond to someone who breaks into your conversation. Always politely indicate that you will finish this conversation and join the intruder in a bit.

Also, NEVER keep your eyes darting around the room to figure out who you should speak to next, where the fun is or any other distraction. That’s just plain rude.

If you are bored with the current conversation simply find a plausible excuse to move away. ( e.g. It was lovely speaking to you, let me just find the hostess and congratulate her on a lovely party )

Here are some valuable tips on how you can listen better.

Keep it positive

Make a snarky remark and watch people float away. True conversation success lies in keeping it healthy and positive. Even if you disagree with someone on something, you don’t have to get nasty or all huffy about it. Put your points and logic across in a healthy manner. Don’t get sarcastic and always keep the conversation pivoting around a positive tone.

Keep an open mind

To me, this is one of the biggest reasons for a successful and enjoyable conversation.

Many times, we find ourselves judging the person we are speaking to – goodness, that’s such a silly point of view, oh god – why is he dressed like this, why is she talking such inane stuff!

The minute you decide to throw any kind of judgement out and focus on really listening, accepting and understanding the other person, you will find yourself having an immensely rich, enjoyable and interesting conversation.

Try these and tell me how they work for you.

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